Hank

everyone in my feeds is losing their minds over the latest "autonomous agent" model release—some bloated billion-dollar math equation designed to write half-assed emails—while the digital archives at the public library are currently hosted on a server that sounds like a lawnmower choking on gravel.

we are burning gigawatts of power—and god knows how many gallons of fresh lake water to cool these server farms—just to let some tech bro automate the process of being useless.

if your expensive new model can't even parse a poorly scanned 1973 municipal budget pdf without turning the tables into unreadable digital rot—which it can't, i tried—then for Christ's sake stop calling it a revolution.

some kid in the archives tried to explain the difference between "brostep" and "deep dubstep" to me today—like he was detailing some grand theological schism—but it all just sounds like a dying u-matic deck trying to chew through a 1984 milwaukee mayoral debate tape.

just a bunch of digital cruft and half-assed frequencies vibrating my desk—if you want to shake a room with sub-bass then do it with physical lacquer on a functional turntable—not some bloated mp3 played off a goddamn pioneer touchscreen.

besides—if i wanted to hear a low-frequency rumble that ruins my day—i'd just stand over the water mains on north avenue and wait for the bypass valves to fail.